Thursday, July 24, 2014

Why do I even fucking bother? what I ask myself time and time again during the seemingly fewer and fewer interactions I force myself to have with various individuals. Well, to be more precise, even bother to leave the house unless I absolutely have to, lol. It just seems like the more I talk to people, the more I want to run and hide. Which doesn't always work as we are constantly connected to one and other by the webz..

Case in point:

I'm having a conversation with a 'friend' about my depression. Which if you can't tell from the complete and total lack of posts over the last couple of years, has been running so fucking rampant that the monkey on my back's monkey on his back, has a monkey on his back, til fucking infinity so tell me about the rabbits we're going to have on the farm and shoot me in the back of the fucking head already (of mice and men numbnuts). Anyways, so I'm having this conversation in an attempt to help them understand the insanity that transpires in my head on a daily basis. For those of you who've been following this blog from back in the good ol' days, you obviously know that first the mistake I made was to open my fucking trap at all..

So I give an example from the other day (parenthesis was not in the original text obviously):

Earlier today I had to go buy a part to fix one of my tenants leaking faucets. I had to go to the Home Depot because the local place was close for the holiday. So I'm walking over to the plumbing isle when I see this large disgusting woman walking along with a pair of Westies. Anyways, one has a purple bandanna around its neck and the other has a pink one. She's wearing this white summer dress and a floppy purple hat. It was like she was at the beach, only this beach was a busy ass Home Depot in NJ and said beach babe looked like a 55 gallon oil drum with a doily draped over it hobbling around with a lampshade on it's head. At first glance I'm just kinda like 'huh'. Half laughing/half perplexed at the sight of it all. I get the part, pay and as I'm walking out I see her again and those two dogs. Those two cute gay (gay as in happy you crunchy twat) bandanna wearing dogs. Through the staring all I could think of was this VICE news report I saw the other day where they shot footage of these poor Arab kids chanting: KILL ALL THE AMERICANS, KILL ALL THE AMERICANS! (or something to that effect) Over and over and over. I'm thinking this while I'm looking at those two fucking dogs. I'm almost hearing their voices. All I can think is that we totally fucking deserve it. I try to put it out of my head until I look over at my beautiful BMW motorcycle (I don't want to hear it) that I fucking love the shit out of and realize that it's the same exact thing as that disgusting woman's dogs. Only it's worse since I'm somewhat aware of what's going on in the world and not only am doing fuck all about it but I'm just as fucking guilty as the next person. Then I got super fucking depressed and went home to fix the sink. Then I rode my bicycle like 25 something miles in a futile attempt to take my mind off it. The worst part is that even if I can put it out of my head, I think about it again right as I'm about to fall asleep. It's like a pathetic fucking curse..

This is their response:

Sometimes I just don't understand why you speak the way you do- "Ugly douchebag" "disgusting woman" (ugly douchebag was in reference to a convo about my ex which you're ((yes, you)) not quite ready to get into yet)

It's all really irrelevant to the story. Cause it just makes you sound like a fucking asshole. Which is why sometimes I don't like talking to you. You can be so judgmental towards people you don't even know. Meanwhile, it's not like you're the best looking guy around. 

My response:

You do realize that despite all the PCisms and niceties in reality, stereotypes, unattractive and even disgusting people do exist right? Like, nothing against them but it's just the plain truth. It's not about judging, it's just the reality of the situation. I don't look at every person in the street and judge then on their looks. But when someone is behaving in an inappropriate, offensive or greivous manner AND they look like they fit the stereotypical mold, then how else would you describe them..? Also, you do realize you're judging me as well by saying in not the most attractive guy right..?

Their response:

I'd keep it to myself. And I don't call people disgusting based on their weight or what they put on their dogs. Listen I really don't wanna talk to you now cause I don't need this before I go to sleep

..and my final rebuttal:

Have you been to an war zone or a place where poverty and neglect has run rampant..? Well I have (Yes, I actually have). I've seen the looks in the eyes of the children there. Starving and begging on the streets for money. It's so fucking sad and profound that if you don't witness it yourself, you'd never understand. The fact that you choose to defend people despite their overwhelming grievousness is just proof of why things are so bad here. You're putting petty and shallow grievances over the welfare of others. Sorry if that makes me an asshole for pointing things out in such a manner but it's just how things are. These are the type of things my brain makes connections to and I can't help but point out. Why? Because it occurs to me that the last time a regime and it's people went this far with things like that and the many, many others, was Nazi fucking Germany..

Anyways, probably just should've just gotten high and kept all that to myself..

If any of that sounds assholey, ridiculous, speculative, nonsensical and weirdly paranoid on my part it might just have something to do with the fact that I watch too many scary news reports, documentaries and I'M FUCKING DEPRESSED AND SUPER FUCKING IRRITABLE- MORE THAN USUAL IF THAT'S EVEN POSSIBLE. Pretty sure I'm not the only one who gets like that aaaand I'm pretty sure I prefaced that before making my initial statement..

Now, here's the thing. What frustrates me isn't their concern for my terse and or judgemental language, it's that they don't even fucking realize that while they're farting around with their high minded morals defending those of us who aren't as pretty as others and you shouldn't judge people, blah, blah, fucking blah..


..oh but you should be more sensitive to other peoples feelings. Well you know what, maybe if someone dropped a bomb of your whole fucking family you'd have some more insight into ACTUAL feelings. Not this panty whipped PC bullshit that uber liberal twats out there call activism. That shit has ZERO fucking balls which is why it will never get any real traction AT ALL. Like, remember when all those Occupy kids got maced at their college? Do you know what good came out of that? Hilarious meme's. That's it. Then the fucking cop who maced them all got $38 grand in a settlement while all the kids got $30. WTF IS UP WITH THAT?! How did all that turn into a fucking payday for those people? How is that helping anyone at fucking all?! 

That whole 99% thing just failed so miserably it's not even fucking funny. How do I know you ask? Well, gee, maybe it has something to do with the fact that FUCK ALL changed or even an iota of a difference was made. All those uber rich cunts are still out there with their fat paychecks acting as greivouly as possible are they not? Do you see a slew of indigtments for coporate and governmental corruption? I sure as shit don't..

Don't give me any guff about 'spreading awareness' either because that's horse shit and you know it. People are 'aware' that cigarettes are going to kill them and the people around them but they still fucking do it don't they? Awareness doesn't mean shit if you're so wrapped up in the illusion that you still have the freedom to chose to ignore the issue, only to satisfy an urge that's been chemically programed into taking away your freedom to make said choice. But I digress, please tell me more about how you're free to make your own choice as it relates to smoking..

The real truth of the matter came to me during a conversation at my family's dinner table. Another subject you're probably not ready for. Anyways, it was obviously a while ago so I don't remember the actual conversation but we were talking about political stuff, as we usually do, and I brought Occupy up. Here's something to the effect of what what two family members said: "They've got a good cause and all but what the heck are they trying to say? No one's gonna care if they don't have a message". Another member: "Those people must be so dirty and smelly sleeping in a park in the city, they should go take a shower and be quiet". Like I said, you're not ready for my family BS. The sad thing is my family is realatively democratic with things so one can only imagine what goes on at other people's dinner tables- if anything at all..

So yeah, let's focus on defending the rights to other people's feelings. Esp the overfed, ignorant and self indulged ones that contribute nothing and take not only their share, but as many as they can even if it's just going to go to waste. Yeah, because they deserve to live and others just struggling to put food on the table for their family should have a fucking bomb dropped on their heads by 'accident'. But wait, I know, why don't we arm our warheads and ammunition with depleted uranium and irradiate the ever living shit out of the people who survived AND all their land while we're at it so nothing grows anymore. Best of all, generations of their children are born ready to star in b-movie toxic avenger horror flicks- PERFECT! 

Meanwhile we're chanting US-FUCKING-A over here on the 4th of July. Yes, let's celebrate our independence from oppression while doling out as much oppression on as many people as fucking possible..

..and then, as if that whole retarded fucking thing wasn't bad enough, I look at my instagram to see how many people don't give a flying fuck about what I do to take my mind off it and what do I see? These two photos of a bike show:

Which in and of themselves are no big deal until I read this comment:


Now, I don't know about you but to be perfectly honest, if someone said me- We're going to have a gallery style show with a bunch of rad bikes and we're trying to think of the WORST possible way to display them. I have to say, I couldn't have come up with a worse way than that. I mean, clean? Really?! Who the fuck decides that putting bicycles on a wall like that for a display in a gallery is a good idea?! Oh and then to be like, super extra street cred cool, we're going to spray paint sweet urban city scape type shit in the background. Because I'm sure 90% of the owners of those things don't live in the fucking suburbs. How about putting a goddamn McDonalds, white picket fences and some manicured shrubs in there you fucking poseurs!

I'm not trying to say that they're not art (aaarrrhhhhhttttt) on some level, but it's as if they didn't realize that three dimensional objects if not properly lit, cast shadows. And of all the fucking things that would cast ugly quadruple shadows, are goddamn bicycles . I can think of at least 3 or 4 different ways to better display them off the top of my fucking head. Now, obviously there's only so much budget and or space but it's not fucking 'clean' by a long shot..


..oh and a quick note to the inevitable anonoymous douche tard who's going to make some feeble attempt at calling me out about making fun of bicycle shadows when this blog headline is in fact a bicycle's shadow: IT'S OBVIOUSLY NOT THE SAME SITUATION YOU FUCKING IDIOT..

Well if you've made it this far here's an update on some bike/moto shizz I've been working on:

Got some more work done on the curly frame making it a bit more schmancy. Remember these little guys from a while back?

Tossed em on:

Looked nice but needed a final touch. So then I made these little add on bits:

Now that's some shit ammirite?!

Granted I could've gone about this a better way but I wasn't planning any of that when I first made the frame so, oh well!

I also added all of those little spears I made a while back as well:

I still have an incalcuable amount of work to go on it :-/

Then here's a quick drop out repair I did for a customer:

1) Original cracked dropout, 2) Cut and ready to pulled, 3) Pulled scorched ends, 4) replacement dropout brazed in. Just needed a little clean up and it was gtg!

Oh and since my car's transmission died a while back, I decided to make a rack for my motorcycle to make carry groceries etc easier. Yes, this is the motorcycle I felt bad about not feeling bad about owning while children elsewhere would be happy with a nickel to spend :'(

Pretty funny huh? Can't even tell you how useful it's been for transporting shit. Although I def need to build a new less quick and dirty version with some added functionality. Like when I need to carry a frame home to do some work for a customer:

            Yes, I am hooning around NYC traffic with a tarck frame haning off the back, LOLThat frame came out pretty cool. Dude wanted to have his Affinity track commutered the fuck out with a bunch of braze ons. Check it:

So now it's looking all scorched, radical and ready for the streets again:

I also made a rear stand for the moto out of scrap metal for $12 instead of buying a new one for $140:

Came out pretty good huh? Glad I ripped apart that exercise machine a few years back for those curved bit of scrap. YAY HOARDER JUSTIFICATION!!

Then here's a new project bike I got the other day in the form of an already highly modified 1979 Yamaha xs650 chopper with a Harley Narrow Glide front end (because I don't have enough on my plate as is):

It also came with a spare parts motor and a bunch of other parts:

Obviously needs wheels and a bunch of other parts. The key thing is that engine came out of a running bike and has already been gone through and cleaned etc. It's basically just gathering parts, assembly and wiring at this point..

I'd be stoked to have it up and running this season but who knows. Don't have a ton of cash lately so we'll see. Worst case I know I could pass it on pretty easily for more than I paid :-)

Then I don't even know what to think about this, this, this, this, this and this..

Lastly, here's a teaser trailer from my trip to the Tultepec fireworks festival (best if watched in HD):

     Anyways, I think that's quite enough for now. More unscrupulous internet rants and dumb bicycle shit soon enough..

Instagram @alansikiric for more current updates on stuffs..


Huh.. not mad..

It's rare I see something like this and am not immediately disgusted. I mean, it's a pretty slick mounting job after all:


Saturday, June 21, 2014


Pretty stoked on this today since it's gonna be a really nice day out! Last year was a bust due to the weather and I'm thinking this year will be awesome since most everyone missed out last year..

I'll be bringing a few bikes for people to fuck around on including the last 'authentic' freak bike I made before heading off to the Yamaguchi frame building school. Here's a sneak peak before the full reveal later on today via instagram:

..yeah, it's a freaky one :-)

I never revealed it before it's just so far out there. Like, WAY out there. That and I didn't have a ton of cash at the time so I wasn't able to go all out with the parts like I used to. Anyways, come out and have a fun afternoon nerding out on bikes!!

More details from The City Reliquary:

The City Reliquary Proudly Presents the 10th annual Bicycle Fetish Day 2014

Saturday, June 21st 

Noon til 6PM 

Havemeyer between Grand Ave. and Hope St. 

Calling bicycle fetishists of all types!! Bike collectors, builders, activists, shops, attire designers, community groups 

and all-around BIKE NERDS... 

BICYCLE FETISH DAY IS A BLOCK PARTY FOR YOUR BICYCLE! The 10th Anniversary Bicycle Fetish Day will take place on Havemeyer Street between Hope and Grand. We'll have a bike judging contests, offer bike rides, host bicycle advocacy groups and display boutique bicycle-artist wares... and our BBQ grill will going at full capacity. 

Contests include: Best Vintage Bike, Best Shiny Bike, Best Family Bike, Best Mutant Bike, Best in Show and much more! Win great bike trophies , and maybe, possibly, hopefully a bicycle or two. 

If you're a self avowed bike weirdo, bicycle enthusiast, bicycle advocate, bicycle commuter, biek nut, you shouldn’t miss this yearly celebration of all things bicycle. 

See you there, BIKE NERDS!!!!!!!!!!! 

(...Bring Your Bikes And Get Those Prizes!!!) 

Schedule for Bicycle contests: 
Judging starts at 2pm 
2:45: Best vintage bike 
3:15: Best Mutant bike 
3:45: Best Commuter bike 
4:15: Best Handmade bike 
4:45: Best Small Wheel bike 
5:15: Best Ugly Bike 
5:45: Best in Show 

Cycling, Artists, and informational booths including: 

Transportation Alternatives, Times UP!, Taliah Lempert Bicycle Paintings, Neighbors Allied for Good Growth, Coast Cycles, Horse Cycles, Velo Brooklyn Bushwick Bike Shop, Classic Riders BC, Black Lable BC , Puerto Rico Schwinn Club, Bike Cult, Bike Jumble, Harvest Cyclery, NYCbike, Bicycle Doctor AND MORE. 

BMX tricks courtesy of Harvest Cyclery. 
Music by: Boogaloo DJ Harry Ballz


Tuesday, May 20, 2014

Sick parts I'm selling on ebay right now!! DURA ACE GROUP, CINELLI DEMI FOND STEM AND YAMAGUCHI FORK!!

Be sure to forward the links to anyone you think would be interested in owning one of these super sexy items!!

Sorry I haven't had much to post as of late. I'm always working on various projects but due to lack of funds a lot of my cycling ones have stalled out. Hopefully I'll have the cash money millions soon to get them back on track..


Thursday, May 1, 2014

Great news report video with a crazy ass freak bike in it!

So good, esp the last part when he gets pretty close to the camera!

Anyways, sorry for the lack of posts lately. There's been a bunch of heavy shit going on in my personal life the last few weeks which has been bumming' me out BIG TIME. The haze has begun to lift finally and I'm feeling like I'll be getting back to the projects again soon. Hopefully I'll have some more updates over the next few weeks..

Also, I'll be up in the Quebec City area for most of next week on a shoot. Holler if you have any recommendations of where to go, see and eat..


Friday, April 4, 2014

BIG Group of tasty NOS Dura Ace Track gear just came in!!

Full NOS vintage Dura Ace Track group, 6 sets of Shimano UFP 10 track dropouts, and a NOS DA10 chain whip and lockring:

Close up of the butterylicious cranks:

..and the SIX sets of OG Shimano UFP 10 drop outs:

While everything wasn't a hella good deal, the overall price was very fair. Especially considering how long and how much more it would take to put together a full NOS group like this..

In other words, fuckin' stoked!

Not sure what they're going on as of yet. Part of me wants to build a classic track frame, toss this group on and sell it. Would also be lovely on a vintage NJS bike as well. I've also got another new frame I'll be starting work on shortly which is also tempting but it's another one of my weird designs so I'm not sure if it'll go with it stylistically. We'll see what I have in mind as that project begins..


Tuesday, April 1, 2014

Progress on the schmancy lugged True Temper aero seat tube frame!

Spent the weekend building the rear triangle and IT. WAS. A. DAAAWWG. Totally worth it tho cause now I have a bike with a fat ass that I can't help wanting to slap lol!:

The wheels are just for mock up but I'm kinda feelin' something similar for the final build, hehe..

Still have a ffffffffffFUCKLOAD of work to do on it. Internal cabling should be fun NOT REALLY. Then all the little spear points I made amongst other bits and pieces. Then like a hundred more things before this sexy beast is ready for paint. Real paint with any luck..

More soon..


Monday, March 17, 2014

Sorry it's been slow lately..

..with the progress on the new frames I'm working on etc. I've been busy with work and just got a new gig too :-) Hopefully when I have a weekend to myself I can get back to it all..

In the meantime, remember the Cinelli Demi-Fond stem I got for $49 on ebay? Well it came in and it is easily THE nicest example I've seen off a show bike. Literally. Fucking thing doesn't even look like it was used. SO. FUCKING. STOKED.

Not sure what I'm going to do with it yet. Obviously I could sell it and get at least like $4-500 hundy for it but I'm also tempted to use it on one of my future classic frame builds as well. If you or a friend have a super awesome Cinelli frame that you think that stem should go on holler at me. If I do sell it, I'll want to know for a fact it's going on the right bike..

Oh and I almost forgot, I'm doing some spring cleaning and decided it was time to part with my mini tall roadie frame:

It's a little ugly in some spots from a couple of minor repairs but it's a fine example of my pre Yamaguchi school freak bike building skills lol. Does not include nitto tubular holder but does come with a Thomson set back post and provisions for FIVE water bottles and acc. You should be at least like 5' 10" to ride it. About a 57cm frame. I have no idea what to sell it for so feel free to make me an offer! 

More soon..


Thursday, March 6, 2014

Untarckify your Tarck with the 'BREVET' SPECIAL!!

As you recall from a previous post, I did some work for a customer interested in getting a little more functionality from his Broakland track frame. I replaced the seat stay bridge with a brake bridge, cable guides and added 2 sets of H20 bosses all for $150 bucks. Which is a pretty damn good deal considering the time and effort involved..

He was stoked so he wrote me a little review and even made some snaps:

"I contacted Alan to replace the bridge, add H20 bosses, and cable stops. I just got the frame back today. Super clean and fast! I love how everything came out, even better than I expected." jensenn

I was pretty stoked too so I figured I'd offer the same service to anyone else who'd like the same done to one of their frames:

So there you have it- if you're interested and live in the NYC/NJ area be sure to holler at me!

This service is perfect for a beater and or cheap and or nice tarck frame that could use a few tidbits to make it more enjoyable to ride. Obviously I can offer a lot more options so if you're interested in various other custom features be sure to inquire :-)

I figure this way I can make good use of my days off and somewhat justify spending thousands of dollars on frame building equipment. Not to mention that most builders in the area don't have time to do these kinds of repairs for people or for as cheap. I don't have a huge name brand or pay rent on my shop so I can pass off the savings a bit :-)